I just had the weirdest dream. (Yeah, that’s what I do on my free days, I catch up on my sleep.)
It all started with me wanting to go for a swim with my sister. I got my things together, but when I got downstairs, she was gone. I tried to call her, but she didn’t pick up. And I couldn’t just go afer her, because I didn’t knwo which pool she went to.
I was kind of outraged and started to complain to my mom, but was interrupted by my nephew. I started to play catch with him until he fled into his mother’s (my other sister) arms. She was sitting at the table on my parents’ terrace, next to her daughter and was visibly pregnant again. I stroked her tummy and said, “Twins?”
She nodded. My nephew lit up a cigarette and asked me, “What does it mean, twins?”
So, I had to explain to my smoking 2 year old nephew what it means that his mom is pregnant with two kids at once.
That’s when my mom called. In real life. To tell me that my 19-year-old brother’s girlfriend is probably pregnant. And they’re really happy and going to keep it. They even have the names figured out already. Notwithstanding that my brother hasn’t finished his apprenticeship yet, meaning he earns practically nothing and that his girlfriend hasn’t finished school yet, so earns de facto nothing.
Mom: And you know the worst thing about it?
Mom: I didn’t really react. We just kept on playing cards and ever since he told me, I randomly burst out laughing.
Me: Do you recall my first reaction? It was exactly the same, wasn’t it. And still is. Anyway, I won’t believe it until I have a doctor’s confirmation or I see the big belly.
[Do we seem like heartless bitches? Maybe we are. But then again, it's the second time since this summer that my brother told us that he's becoming a father. Always wih different expectant mothers, btw. It always turned out to be false alarm. So...]
Mom: Oh, and please don’t tell your sisters. Or your other brother. I’m afraid that they will be very morally outraged about this. Which would help nobody, but just make your brother more certain in his choices and in the end, estrange him from us.
Me: I can imagine telling my brother. He would explode and start huffing and puffing.
And then we both started laughing. The pleasures of family life.
In related things, this is how you should react to your daughter’s pregnancy. [Warning: SPOILERS for Eli Stone, Season 2, Episode 4]