Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012)

Friday, 16. November 2012

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
Director: Timur Bekmambetov
Writer: Seth Grahame-Smith
Based on: Seth Grahame-Smith‘s novel
Cast: Benjamin Walker, Dominic Cooper, Anthony Mackie, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Rufus Sewell, Marton Csokas, Jimmi Simpson

When Abraham (Benjamin Walker) was a child, he had to watch as the vampire Jack Barts (Marton Csokas) killed his mother. Years later, still filled with thoughts of revenge, he tries to kill Barts and has to be saved by Henry Sturgess (Dominic Cooper) who then goes on to teach him how to fight vampires – but on the condition that Abe only kills the vampires Henry points out. After training is over, Abe moves to Springfield where he works for Joshua Speed (Jimmi Simpson) as a store clerk, studies law and kills vampires. But his thirst for revenge is still not satisfied.

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter is absolutely trashtastic. By which I mean, it is not a good movie, in fact quite the opposite, but it is an extremely entertaining one.

The cast really wasn’t very good in this one. Dominic Cooper at least tried, but Anthony Mackie and Marton Csokas (who would have had it in them as well) just didn’t really bother. Though admittedly, with characters as flat as those the best actor in the history of time would have issues.

Mostly that’s because the script was just really bad. But that was just quite in tune with the rest of the film. Starting with the bad CGI to the way they just used horses really as if they were cars, including jumping from one horse to the next and driving a horse carriage through a wall, horses first. Or the complete predictability of the plot that still was full of holes.

In short, nothing in this movie has much qualitative value. But it does have a whole lot of entertainment value. If you’re in the right mood, alone with your friends in the cinema and able to just comment every single stupidity loudly.

Unfortunately, even under those circumstances the movie does have lengths and could have done with a whole lot of shortening. And a whole lot more of Dominic Cooper. But not every bad movie can be perfect.

Summarising: a good night’s entertainment, under the right circumstances.

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  1. I only liked the last scene with ‘Obama’. Except that, I was totaly ‘who?Why?What?’ during the whole thing. I still don’t understand why the sister suddenly appeared in the camp and how she got hurt so much..?

    • I don’t really have an explanation for you. The movie never made any sense. ;)

  2. I tried to enjoy but I couldn’t. Starts off quite ok, ends up terrible. Horrid CGI, very lame acting, nearly no tension. Bleh.

    • The CGI really was horrible. As was most of the acting. And the script. But somehow it had me laughing…

  3. [...] deadra and me left Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, she said that she was pretty sure that the five sentences Harriet Tubman had in this film would be [...]

  4. I think it had me laughing too. But only from sheer silliness. Left me wondering if it was a parody. I loved the scene where they’re throwing horses at each other as they fight… :)

    • Oh yeah, the horses in this film… I swear, nobody in the production of this movie ever handled or even saw one in real life…

  5. Didn’t find this entertaining at all. They took the whole movie far too seriously. I mean, come on, it’s about a vampire hunting Abraham Lincoln. I definitely would have expected a lot more (self-depreciating) humor. 2nd worst movie of 2012 for me!

    • I’ve heard that from many people. But personally I did find it hilarious, despite a few lengths. But maybe because of the situation more than the movie. And the alcohol helped, too.

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